Ludmila Engquist, a former Soviet, and later Swedish athlete, revealed her reasons for using performance-enhancing drugs in her autobiographical book.
Enпqгist began her sports career in athletics, where she became an Olympic champion and a two-time world champion in running. She later switched to bobsleigh, aiming to become the first woman to win medals at both the Summer and Winter Olympics.
In her book, set to be released on September 13, the 60-year-old Enqvist confessed that she hated bobsleigh but felt unable to leave the sport by herself:
I hated bobsleigh. It was a nightmare—before, during, and after training. Day and night. I couldn't admit that I wanted to quit training because I was scared and overwhelmed. There was no way back; the stakes were too high at every level. I wanted to get caught so I could end this madness and free myself from the fear.
Ludmila Engquist
Engquist tested positive for doping a year before the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, after which she ended her career. Previously, in 1993, she had already been banned for two years for violating anti-doping rules, during which she accused her husband and coach Nikolai Narozhilenko of mixing banned substances into her medicine.